Friday, July 29, 2011

Helpful space

This week I went to bellydancing class in an unfocused, and cranky funk.  I had bothersome things on my mind.  Our teacher was talking, but she seemed  far away. She tried to correct an erratic movement that I kept repeating. I panicked a little because I wasn't focused enough to listen.  I knew that she would keep trying to explain, but I wasn't in a place to hear. I have had it happen before.  Someone tries earnestly to explain a task, and naturally expects me to perform, but my brain is not having it.  The panic comes because I want the teacher to be successful; I don't want her help to go unappreciated, but at the same time I am not capable of receiving help.  At times like that, I need space. Perfecting the angle of my elbows will just have to wait.

 I told the instructor that I just needed to move incorrectly for a little while. I was grateful that she listened, and left me alone.   Class progressed; after I shimmied away the day I'd come in with, I was open to helpful corrections.

   Sometimes the best way to help another person is to respect his ability to figure things out.  Go away, give  time and space.  Let him founder, fail, and cultivate his own rhythms.  I'm grateful that my instructor knew this.  I try to remember.....


  1. This post was wise and touching. Thanks for sharing, beautiful girl.